If you’ve ever thought me stand-offish, please read what follows.

The truth is that over the years, I have observed that some people feel like I am beneath them. Everyone encounters people who affect this air, but I have a specific reaction to it and you’ve likely found it wanting. Now, I’m okay with not being friends with people who feel they are above me. Really, if you don’t like me, I’m okay with that. I’d rather be the acquired taste than the crowdpleaser. I’m niche and I don’t need to be everybody’s friend.

But I have a tendency to put people who have let me down into a specific box and it’s difficult to get out of it. I have rushed to meet and be friends with others and when I have been spurned, I have learned to shut down that vulnerability. Over the years, the condition has been compounded to the point that I am unapproachable to many, many people.

All of this is said to recognize that in doing so, I am paying forward the potential anxiety and arrogance and insecurity that inspired it in me. I have been as guilty as others of the very actions that dissuade me of giving people a proper chance. Mea culpa. So how do we break the cycle? That’s what we want, isn’t it? In the interest of peace?

I guess I need to start again with some people out there. If you ever liked something about me and you wanted to get to know me better, I thank you and encourage you to give me another shot. I’ll see if I can do better. Maybe I’ll be better than I have been. Maybe we were never meant to be friends. But why not see if there was just a misunderstanding at fault?

Conversely, if you feel like I was wrongfully rejected, I declare a sweeping pardon for previous offenses. I respond pretty favorably to kind gestures most of the time. Let’s let bygones be bygones. I’m open.

No one is without fault, so why not just let go of our anxieties and try again? I could call this a new year’s resolution, but why wait until 2011 to get started? It’s a social time of year and we have loads of opportunities to get this together. I think I would like that.

So it turns out I am somewhat known for being a voracious consumer of media. I fully cop to this.

This causes my friends and family a great deal of consternation, knowing I enjoy such things, while finding it impossible to shop for me. So much comes and goes so quickly that no one knows what I have and what I have not. RL’s family have done extensive Christmas lists for each other for quite some time, and given that I am being poked and prodded a lot for this year’s birthday options already (and it is only just now October), I thought I would go ahead and just post things that I am excited about for this fall. (more…)

So I woke up no less than four times last night with allergy attacks — awoken from a dead-like sleep with allergies. And did I have the foresight the first time it happened to take a Benedyl and go back to bed? No. Walk to tissues, pinch nostrils, return to bed. I wasn’t even smart enough to bring the tissues back to bed with me.

When R finally got around and ready for work, I got up and stayed awake, knowing full well I was already sleepy. I figured I would round off fatigue with a powerful dose of caffeine (as per usual). Of course I wasn’t awake for 10 minutes before the allergies began their final blitz. With too much to do today to be waylaid by succumbing to this every 15 minutes, I went ahead and threw back a Benedryl. Now I am a zombie and have been a zombie all day.

Take Benedryl when sleeping is possible/appropriate? No. Take Benedryl when I should be waking up and getting a running start at a busy day? Why not… I don’t (have anything left of my) mind if I do. (more…)

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Tahlequahvania, there was a Brave Knight, hired to protect two villages against dragons simultaneously. One was the village called Graphicadesignistan and the other, a very similar village in size and stature, was called Viscommeroon. The key difference between the villages was that the lack of naked lifedrawing practiced in Graphicadesignistan as it was not commonly encouraged among the very religious members of Viscommeroon. The distinction between the two villages was a silly, but seemingly inextricable one.

Knowing that the existence of the two villages would only serve to divide the attentions of the Brave Knight, he sought to combine them into one village and thus, better protect the inhabitants of both, after all, most kingdoms only had one village like these. When he went to the King with this plan, the King, or rather, the King’s over-worked, under-attentive Chairman of the Round Conference Table (who was a really, really nice guy) pooh-poohed such a plan.

Little did the brave knight understand that (more…)