Last night I was awoken at 4:30 to the sound of clawing at the kennel door. Ava needs to go outside? At this hour? It was unusual insofar as recently, I’ve had to drag her out of bed in the mornings, sometimes as late as 10.

And so we went outside. Business was handled and we returned to our respective beds.

Until 5:30, that is. More clawing at the door.

I got her out and looked at her, wondering if she really needed to go out. Her immediate location and acquisition of her tennis ball indicated that this was, indeed, meant more as an early morning play date. Fetch? At this hour? In the kitchen? In my underwear? I tersely returned her to her kennel to much umbrage.

When there was more clawing at 6:30, I decided she could just tough it out.

Walking the bread aisle today in Wal-Mart, just trying to get the hell out of the store, I had one of those moral dilemmas. From behind me, I heard a six-year-old beckon her sister, “Sissy, look at that funny hair!”

I was the only other person in the aisle aside from her mother and her sister.

So the question becomes, do I walk on and not make the situation worse or do I turn and cast a sharp look (like I know I’m very capable of doing) that reinforces the point that saying rude things in public sometimes has negative social consequences? Sure, one should trust that the mother made the point after I left, but you know some parents are apathetic and as Hillary reminds us, it takes a village sometimes.

Many people think me quite sadistic (ask my students) and have already probably posited that one of my trademarked scowls was volleyed. They would be wrong.

As a dear friend of mine once observed, despite the gruff exterior, I am pretty much a teddy bear. My instincts were the sharp look, but my heart immediately recognized that it might scare or hurt her feelings and maybe a six year old deserves a break for being six. And what am I — an asshole? I can’t take a snarky remark about spiky hair? I’ve been getting snarky jabs about my hair since I was six.

Honestly, with this hairdo, I probably have it coming.

The critical review that follows originally appeared in a slightly different form at another site. I post it here as an addendum to this journal.

Anthropomorphism — that is ascribing human characteristics to entities that would not normally carry them — is a constant in the history of literature and art and especially film. It is the method by which the human animal has always sought to understand that which he or she does not. It is a method of comparison and contrast. It is a form of critical thinking as expressed by the naive.

That naiveté is found by the bucketload in 1982′s Tron. (more…)

If you’ve ever thought me stand-offish, please read what follows.

The truth is that over the years, I have observed that some people feel like I am beneath them. Everyone encounters people who affect this air, but I have a specific reaction to it and you’ve likely found it wanting. Now, I’m okay with not being friends with people who feel they are above me. Really, if you don’t like me, I’m okay with that. I’d rather be the acquired taste than the crowdpleaser. I’m niche and I don’t need to be everybody’s friend.

But I have a tendency to put people who have let me down into a specific box and it’s difficult to get out of it. I have rushed to meet and be friends with others and when I have been spurned, I have learned to shut down that vulnerability. Over the years, the condition has been compounded to the point that I am unapproachable to many, many people.

All of this is said to recognize that in doing so, I am paying forward the potential anxiety and arrogance and insecurity that inspired it in me. I have been as guilty as others of the very actions that dissuade me of giving people a proper chance. Mea culpa. So how do we break the cycle? That’s what we want, isn’t it? In the interest of peace?

I guess I need to start again with some people out there. If you ever liked something about me and you wanted to get to know me better, I thank you and encourage you to give me another shot. I’ll see if I can do better. Maybe I’ll be better than I have been. Maybe we were never meant to be friends. But why not see if there was just a misunderstanding at fault?

Conversely, if you feel like I was wrongfully rejected, I declare a sweeping pardon for previous offenses. I respond pretty favorably to kind gestures most of the time. Let’s let bygones be bygones. I’m open.

No one is without fault, so why not just let go of our anxieties and try again? I could call this a new year’s resolution, but why wait until 2011 to get started? It’s a social time of year and we have loads of opportunities to get this together. I think I would like that.